Talking Anyway.

The weird part is I have always been an outgoing person. To people that know me, they would tell you that it is almost impossible to get me to stop talking. One on one, in a group, in a normal conversation, I was fine. But the moment something became official, the moment there was a spotlight, every instinct said find the exit. For a long time I had no idea what kind of career I could have because I could not picture myself in any role that required public speaking. I ended up spending most of my career doing almost nothing else. Early on I saw a speech therapist who gave me real tools and techniques to manage the moments. But the fear was still there. Every time I stuttered I was convinced I was losing the room, and no technique touched that part.

At some point I stopped trying to hide it. I started being open about it, making a small joke with a customer here and there, letting it be part of who I am instead of something to avoid or hide. That is when everything changed. I realized nobody cared about my stutter nearly as much as I did. The ones who did were not people whose opinion I needed anyway. I still stutter today. That will never change, and I have stopped needing it to. Instead of avoiding speaking opportunities I look for them now. That shift is what this is really about. Not curing the stutter, I am not a professional, if I could do that I most certainly would have done it for myself. Just refusing to let it decide what you can do or who you can become.